I’ve been up for the past few days and nights, snatching sleep in one- or two-hour chunks. My boy is pretty sick right now, and I’m exhausted. Exhausted from driving, coaxing, reassuring,…. but mostly from wishing and worrying and crying.
My boy is a lively, happy kid who doesn’t complain and loves to be involved with what’s going on around him. I haven’t hear him laugh in almost a week, and he can’t get out of bed, and I can’t hug him because it’ll hurt him, and I just want to fix it right now and take this pain away.
I don’t remember feeling this helpless before. Maybe my barely-functional brain can’t mine the archives very well right now, but this feels uniquely awful to me at the moment.
This will pass for us, to become a distant, unpleasant memory. For many other families illness is the norm. It’s a painful reminder of how generally great we have it, and how much worse off many others are. It’s sometimes hard to see the larger picture today while we’re living it, but my sympathies go out to those who live with worse and for longer.