Painful reminder

I’ve been up for the past few days and nights, snatching sleep in one- or two-hour chunks. My boy is pretty sick right now, and I’m exhausted. Exhausted from driving, coaxing, reassuring,…. but mostly from wishing and worrying and crying.

My boy is a lively, happy kid who doesn’t complain and loves to be involved with what’s going on around him. I haven’t hear him laugh in almost a week, and he can’t get out of bed, and I can’t hug him because it’ll hurt him, and I just want to fix it right now and take this pain away.

I don’t remember feeling this helpless before. Maybe my barely-functional brain can’t mine the archives very well right now, but this feels uniquely awful to me at the moment.

This will pass for us, to become a distant, unpleasant memory. For many other families illness is the norm. It’s a painful reminder of how generally great we have it, and how much worse off many others are. It’s sometimes hard to see the larger picture today while we’re living it, but my sympathies go out to those who live with worse and for longer.

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6 thoughts on “Painful reminder

  1. Parenting is the hardest job we have. It’s challenging even in good times, but watching your child suffer is one of the hardest things life throws at us.

    Your son is so fortunate to have such a caring family to help him through.

    While you publicly share your occasional struggle with work/life balance, through your work you have developed a strong system of support and a network of friends who share your concerns right now and who are happy to pick up the load for you. Just ask.

    I wish you and your family the strength you need to get through this challenging time.

    We will all be more thankful today for everything that is going well.

    Thanks for sharing.

  2. Brandon,
    Thanks so much for keeping us all informed, and for being so upfront about what this was like. I cried reading this because you sounded so much like my husband and I when we were living with my first bout of post-partum depression after our older guy was born. He just turned 13, but when you wrote ” I just want to fix it right now”, that was where our small, new family of 3 was living. You got me right in the gut.

    We are stronger for and with each other when we share – personally and professionally. Thanks so much,

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